See Sally Try

We have a lot of exciting new articles coming up on WWK (including the profiles I need to get posted!) and I am very happy to introduce you to Sally.

Sally and her husband, Bob, have been trying to have a baby for a few years now, and they’ve not met with success. I know several women who have struggled with infertility, and have seen how hard it was for them to manage the social expectations of motherhood with their strong desires for it, when it just wasn’t physically possible. Sally mentioned her journey to me, and I asked her to write about it.

I’ve asked several of my friends to share their own reproductive journeys: Single women with children, women who have adopted, women who were able to carry a baby to term after several miscarriages, women who are still trying to have or adopt children, and women who have chosen other paths. Every one of their stories, and every one of their choices is valuable and important, and I believe they will touch you. If you are in a similar situation, I hope their stories encourage you. If you are not, I hope their stories open opportunities for empathy and compassion. And who knows? Maybe one of you knows an answer to a question facing our friends.

Look for more from Sally, coming soon. For now, this is the beginning of her story.

With every new sitcom or reality show coming out these days, the word “infertility” is becoming more common. While it’s not viewed like any other disease I can think of, it often feels every bit as devastating. Over the past 2 and a half years, I have wanted to find a way to shout from the rooftops how badly this disease sucks, and until now, I hadn’t found my voice.

I do know that I am not the only one. And neither are you. So, for those of you who walk this road with me and those of you who just want to know what to say to someone with this struggle, you are not alone.

Infertility covers a wide range of issues, both male and female. And in the world of a couple trying to cope, it spans a ginormous sea of emotions. It can make you hate the pregnant woman you see in the grocery store. It can make you cry and scream and stomp your feet when you see another sonogram picture posted on Facebook. It makes you question your every move in life up to this point. And it can take your breath away to hear your mother sob because she can’t find the words to tell you.

No one understands. No one can possibly understand your situation…because it’s yours. And every case is different. I have friends who have suffered from reccurring pregnancy losses, and others who suffer from secondary infertility. People you hear about with chromosome disorders or endometriosis. You can hear the worst story you have ever known, and still, no one will ever understand where you are.

For me, there are no answers. A healthy couple with every possible medical test and no answers. Maybe 15 years from now there will be new discoveries that can help someone in my shoes, but for now, there is just no test that can diagnose why I have never, in my life, been pregnant. I have never been pregnant. Those words are hard to swallow knowing that daily my odds of getting pregnant decrease even more.

Today, I want to give this monster a voice. More people should know about infertility, more insurance companies should accept this as a true disease, and more of us suffering from it shouldn’t feel the shame that we do. Too many times, the stories we read and hear about are of successfully overcoming infertility. Rarely does someone offer you the insight of someone in the midst of the battle. I am here to do just that.


About the outside lane

Happy. That about covers it.
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